ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The PGA has announced that they will no longer be using just plain white golf balls during PGA sponsored events. The decision came after PGA CEO Seth Waugh spent an entire evening watching Black Lives Matter protest videos on Facebook.
I must have spent 7 hours watching videos of protests on Facebook and when I finally went to bed, I was laying there thinking…man…the PGA is a bunch of assholes – we only use white balls. What the hell is up with that? The next morning I placed a quarter million dollar order on Wish.com for multicolored golf balls. The balls should be in within the next 90-days and we will start rolling out our plan to have all PGA sponsored players use them. And so help me god, if I see one player using just a plain white ball, I’m going to lose my shit. The PGA doesn’t have room for people like that. We don’t care what color you are or what your sexual orientation is – we just want you to feel comfortable as you watch grown men whack a tiny ball!