Lansing, Michigan — In a stunning display of laziness, a man at a local office job has been found to be doing absolutely nothing for the past week, yet still receiving a paycheck. According to sources close to the situation, the man – who has requested to remain anonymous – has not made a single contribution to the company in over seven days, and has instead been spending his time browsing social media and napping at his desk.
“I mean, it’s impressive in a way,” said one coworker who wished to remain anonymous. “He’s managed to do absolutely nothing for a full week, and somehow no one has caught on. It’s like a work of art, really.”
The man in question reportedly spends the majority of his workday staring blankly at his computer screen, occasionally typing out a few words before returning to his social media accounts. When asked for comment, the man stated that he was “just really good at pretending to work.”
“I don’t want to give away all my secrets, but basically I just make it look like I’m really busy,” said the man in a phone interview. “I keep a lot of tabs open on my computer, shuffle papers around on my desk, and make sure I always look really focused. It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it to not actually have to do anything.”
According to sources, the man’s bosses have yet to notice his lack of productivity, and have even complimented him on his “dedication to the job.” The man reportedly plans to continue his laziness streak for as long as possible, and has even started taking longer naps during his workday.
“I figure as long as I can keep up the charade, I might as well enjoy it,” said the man. “I mean, who needs work when you can just get paid to do nothing?”
While some may applaud the man’s ingenuity, others are questioning the ethics of his behavior. Should employees be paid for doing nothing? Should bosses be more attentive to their workers’ productivity? These are important questions that need to be addressed in today’s workforce.
In any case, it seems that for now, the man at this local office job is content to continue his lazy streak, and who knows – maybe he’ll inspire others to follow in his footsteps. After all, why work hard when you can just pretend to work and get paid for it?