Los Angeles, California — The word on the street is that Amber Heard is toying around with the idea of partnering with ‘Master Class’ in order to teach others how to cry without actually crying.
The higher ups at ‘Master Class’ were incredibly impressed with Heard’s performance on the witness during the Depp vs. Heard trial, so much so that they reached out to Heard to see if she would be willing to share her secrets with others.
As we were watching the trial, Amber Heard’s testimony especially, we were truly blown away at the amount of ‘crying’ she was doing…yet she shed zero tears and never really actually cried. It was crazy, yet quite awesome too! We just thought that if more people could cry like that and not actually produce any tears…that they could really get a lot more sympathy and shit in life. – Troy F., Master Class Founder
We reached out to Ms. Heard, but received no response. She is more than likely quite wrapped up in her trial at the moment.
We did however, as we always do, reach out to citizens to see what they thought about Ms. Heard’s ‘crying’…this is what they had to say:
I saw a lot of whining…acting…but I most certainly didn’t see any crying or tears spewing from Heard. It was painful to watch, but man…I really wish I could do that. I would fake cry my ass all over town and get people to feel bad for me and shit. I would clean house! – Marcy B.
I didn’t even know there was a trial going on…I just stumbled across it on the TV when I saw Amber Heard acting a fool on the stand. She talking like she was all beat up and shit…fake crying like a mo’ fucka…I seen people beat the fuck up before and they cry for real man…they sobbin’ and shit…that’s the real deal. I though this broad was just a low budget actor for some soap opera I stumbled on to. The fuck! – Daryl S.