A Crappy First Date – The Story Of A Fart That Wasn’t

Richmond, Indiana — In what can only be described as a crappy first date, a man has reportedly pooped his pants mid-date, leaving his partner in a state of utter shock and disgust. The incident occurred at a local restaurant, where the man – who wishes to remain anonymous – had taken his date for a romantic evening.

According to eyewitnesses, the man had been complaining of stomach troubles throughout the meal, but his date had dismissed it as simple indigestion. However, things took a turn for the worse when the man let out a loud fart and proceeded to soil himself.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said one diner who witnessed the incident. “He just let it rip and then you could see the stain spreading across his pants. It was horrifying.”

The man’s date reportedly excused herself to go to the bathroom, where she called a friend to come pick her up. She later took to social media to recount the nightmarish experience, stating that she had never been so disgusted in her life.

“I mean, I get that accidents happen, but there’s no excuse for not excusing yourself to the bathroom when you feel something like that coming on,” said the woman in a statement. “It was just so gross and disrespectful. I’m honestly traumatized.”

When reached for comment, the man apologized for the incident and claimed that he had eaten something bad earlier in the day. However, many are questioning his judgement and hygiene practices, wondering why he hadn’t excused himself to the bathroom earlier.

In the wake of this incident, many are calling for better date etiquette and hygiene practices. Should people be more aware of their bodily functions on dates? Should they be more prepared for unexpected accidents? These are important questions that need to be addressed in today’s dating scene.

In any case, it seems that this man’s dating prospects have been significantly reduced, if not eliminated entirely. Let this be a cautionary tale to all those embarking on first dates – be mindful of what you eat, and always be prepared for the unexpected.